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Our close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome many challenges, which I admire. However, she's repeatedly caught off guard in relationships. Her partner left her, which came as a huge shock. A lot of close acquaintances disappeared during that time, as they were only interested in him. This surprised her. She put in more effort toward our bond, likely realised better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, several in her circle vanished leaving her knowing the cause. Her previous job became hostile, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, she departed unaware of what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, both of us retired so we're spending time together, but I am finding the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points and she changes them to what interests her. Politically, she has strong opinions. I try to recommend factchecking and alternate views.

She's been arranging a trip to a nation I know well many times and resided in for a while. My intention was to provide personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She purely only wanted validation of her decisions. I recently ended 30 days in that country and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to act as a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, but I don't think she will ever comprehend the effect of her actions on my confidence. Currently, I find myself in pulling back. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is rarely the easy answer we hope for. However, addressing it aiming for working things out demands strength and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step is to state how things go in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible and basically an unbiased account. The second is to express the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no disagreement about this. What you feel belong to you, after all. Finally is to ask how you are both will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Remember your friend has a point of view, thus requiring you to remain ready to listen to her. An approach that works involves stating to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be successful in fostering understanding.

Final Thoughts

She could ignore all you say, for those who hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a version about themselves they won't abandon as it feels essential is tied to it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult as there is no easy route here, mere obstacles. But she may start out this way then consider about what you've said. And even if you never reach an agreement, it will give you closure from having been honest with her.